The question is towards whom or what I am feeling it ..??
Well its mainly towards myself ..A little towards my parents for their decisions which has been making me suffer since I started encountering the outer and more efficient world ...and to this crowded yet most deserted place ..I see faces but i hardly recognize them ... a campus full for strangers...
One moment its fine and the next i go back to being in the same miserable state i was in last year..
I finally know that no body cares ... they are blunt and reckless ... Nobody gives a damn .. until they want something from you ... Its just because i was not in a English medium school cause putting your child into a normal school didn't occur to my parents as a barbarian act that will kill their child's social and professional life ..
I don't have a job at hand ... and its destroying me ... i don't know the proverbs that these people use in order to project their selves as the most socially successful people .. who has a future as a GET in some very nice company ... i keep hearing things about the posting ..salaries ... future husband expectations...what i do? i keep quiet ...and think ..Let them say ..
Sometimes i wonder...why should i stay with them ... they are merely my friends now .. they already have best friends and will always help them only .. I am nothing to these so called batch mates or bench mates ... i can't even say that they don't bitch behind my back ... i do trust them for doing it.. they are the best .... when it comes to everything .... the ultimate human machine ...Perfect people...
When they start talking about this placement stuff what i want is to flee as fast as possible ... i don't want to listen to any word they say.. how arrogant they are.. i finally see it ...
I want to be left alone ... where i can work on being a better person .. to improve where i lack ... but they just don't let me be alone ... solitude is what i desire ... it appears too hard to understand for them ..
Well it happens that the disgust is entirely towards the ppl around .
God please show some mercy upon me .... Let me be free from this feeling ...
Well its mainly towards myself ..A little towards my parents for their decisions which has been making me suffer since I started encountering the outer and more efficient world ...and to this crowded yet most deserted place ..I see faces but i hardly recognize them ... a campus full for strangers...
One moment its fine and the next i go back to being in the same miserable state i was in last year..
I finally know that no body cares ... they are blunt and reckless ... Nobody gives a damn .. until they want something from you ... Its just because i was not in a English medium school cause putting your child into a normal school didn't occur to my parents as a barbarian act that will kill their child's social and professional life ..
I don't have a job at hand ... and its destroying me ... i don't know the proverbs that these people use in order to project their selves as the most socially successful people .. who has a future as a GET in some very nice company ... i keep hearing things about the posting ..salaries ... future husband expectations...what i do? i keep quiet ...and think ..Let them say ..
Sometimes i wonder...why should i stay with them ... they are merely my friends now .. they already have best friends and will always help them only .. I am nothing to these so called batch mates or bench mates ... i can't even say that they don't bitch behind my back ... i do trust them for doing it.. they are the best .... when it comes to everything .... the ultimate human machine ...Perfect people...
When they start talking about this placement stuff what i want is to flee as fast as possible ... i don't want to listen to any word they say.. how arrogant they are.. i finally see it ...
I want to be left alone ... where i can work on being a better person .. to improve where i lack ... but they just don't let me be alone ... solitude is what i desire ... it appears too hard to understand for them ..
Well it happens that the disgust is entirely towards the ppl around .
God please show some mercy upon me .... Let me be free from this feeling ...
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